woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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