He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
