apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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