Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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