It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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