we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
