my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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