capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
my liver is dry heaving
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
