yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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