the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
