Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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