just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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