Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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