I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
