Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
