shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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