just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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