He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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