You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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