i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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