69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
