where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am in a vortex of obligation.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
