It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Alive.
So much puke
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
