you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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