I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She told me I should be a condom model.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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