love makes seman taste better
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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