I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
