is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
