I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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