he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize