Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
