I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
