How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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