sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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