you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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