Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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