"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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