hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
