Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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