he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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