We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
