I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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