Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
