My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
