pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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