; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
