i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
