Cold hands, warm shart.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
