: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
