very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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