I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
