I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
