yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
