Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
