Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
