OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize