Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
