quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
