True but thats because hes a fetus.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
